I have thought about writing this blog for a long time; am I ready to share glimpses of my story? What will the response be like? Do I need to define who I am? And the answers kept coming back to a similar concept, well if I feel this way living in a country that celebrates diversity (still needs a lot of work), then there is a need to share my experiences. I recognise this isn’t about me, but if this message can have a positive affect for someone who has experienced, or experiencing similar, then this goes beyond my story, or your story, and becomes a collective voice.
Over the past few years, I have myself, as well as witnessed others, be afraid to challenge the thoughts of others to make sure we remain in the safe on the battlefield of negotiations surrounding the order of heteronormative society. In this ‘safe zone’, many of us are trying to fulfil the demands of what makes the ‘ideal’ man in the UK. Is this healthy…I believe it is not. Men are less likely to access physical and mental health support, though suicide is the biggest killer of men in the UK. This is a very concerning matter with no ‘one size fits all’ solution. This blog is not created to compete with the equity issues that surround males and females, but more to share my (White male) perspective that will hopefully contribute to a shared platform that negotiate gender equity challenges. With this in mind, some may say that I do not fulfil the norm of an ‘ideal’ man, being a bisexual male. Does that make me any less of a person? Any less of a man? Who has the authority to define me based on sexuality? I am equal to you, as you are too me, regardless of sexuality, ethnicity, race, or the religion you follow. My choices in life may seem different, but that does not make it abnormal, just because we live in a society that has unwritten rules of what is deemed normal. As much as I am apprehensive with labels in self defining, as we should be free to live and love as we wish, I appreciate that these labels operate to legitimise an identity and importantly, liberate a community of people.
I am fortunate in having family, friends and a girlfriend that show unconditional love and support. I know to some, the idea of bisexuality can be confusing and that is okay, I don’t expect you to understand, but what I appreciate and encourage, is that you lean away from prejudice or referring to what is documented in mainstream media, and invite a person to speak from a point of authenticity. My emotions are mine, and not for someone to disregard nor talk for me. My relationship with my sexuality is in its early stages and I am still learning a lot about myself. But what I do know is I am happy with where I am now and that I am not confused about what gender I am attracted to, nor am I going through a phase. Those of you who of you who are afraid of the unknown (we are all human), remember and check yourself; can your shoes tell a story of a path they have never walked?
I am a son, a brother, an uncle, a cousin, a grandson, a nephew, a friend, a boyfriend, a man. I am learning about myself every day, and about the males and females that surround me. In this web, I am my father, my uncle, my cousin, my nephew, my brother and extend to the males over the world. My steps, like yours, intersect with one another every day. I walk a road that many have been down and take turns that collide and divide. But we all end up on the same road in attempts to find our happiness. Let us not deny one another of the journey we take to get there, but learn to offer directions and celebrate one another when we do. And remember, It’s Okay to Talk.
Thanks for reading folks,